It really is me.

I’ve recently been pondering about a one question:

Will I end up dying alone?

Honestly speaking, I’m a pretty independent young woman. I take care of myself, and become the rock that others lean on for support. But sometimes I feel likeĀ I myself need someone to lean on; not just any “someone”, but a man I can share my life with. Sure, I have my family and friends to lean on when times are depressing, or a those few friends who I always call when I need help, but nothing beats the security of being in the arms of the man that you love.

And so, I wonder, am I going to end up alone?

Over the years, I’ve constantly made changes to improve myself not just for the men, but for myself too. Building my own confidence and self-esteem – at lest enough for me to even talk to guys. But why can’t I get a boyfriend? It’s not like I’m particularly picky, or that I’m super specific about the traits I want in my man. I just want three main things for him to be: Christian, nice, and smart.

This guy that I will eventually be with, he will be a Christian and we will raise our children going to church. God plays such an important part in my life that the person I’m with will HAVE to be on the same page as me.

He also has to be nice. Not as in an over-smiling-fake-teeth kind of nice. But genuinely nice. Not just to me, but to my friends, my family, and people I respect.

For him to be smart would classify him as a keeper as well. It doesn’t mean that he has to have an intensely high GPA or whatnot, but it would be nice if he knew how to act smart and make smart decisions in life.

Is this too hard to achieve…? It shouldn’t be right? I mean, my standards aren’t crazy high and all I want is a guy who loves me and that I love them back plus the three qualities above? Well, okay, maybe only the Christian thing has to be set in stone, the other two I can deal with 50%.