If only our hearts could talk, and our minds be ignored…

I’ve always wondered how different our lives would be if we spoke what our hearts were feeling instead of letting it process through our minds a thousand times before letting our voice speak. I’ve often realized that I tend to make a decision on how I want to deal with a situation after numerous back and forth arguments with myself in my mind. Though my decisions would (most of the time) be the most logical and ‘smart’ thing to do, it is often not what I feel I should do. 

Throughout my life so far, I’ve come across situations where I do regret doing something, but most times the moments I regret the most are the times when I’ve decided not to do something. Many people say that ten years from now, you’ll regret the things you didn’t do compared to those things you did, so take a leap of faith and see where life takes you. I personally have felt that regret, and oftentimes still do. 

I let my mind reprocess the situation over and over again until I’ve exhausted all possibilities and combinations of what the outcome could be and let myself choose the safest route, which quite often are the decisions I shouldn’t have chosen. I regularly play the safe route, choose the path I know I will be okay with, the route that I know will cause the least change in my life, because as humans, we’re all afraid of change. 

So if I got to choose, I’d let my heart talk, and duct tape my mind shut. A person’s heart is what possesses the emotions, the passion, and love one feels. If we don’t listen to it, then how else will we be able to stay true to ourselves? 

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You don’t have to get over it, you just have to live with it…

The past two years of my life, I’ve been struggling to get over one certain guy. He occupies a huge part of my life, and is one of my best friends. He and I have the same values, morals, and views on mostly everything in life. 

He calls us soul mates.

But, as usual, God loves challenging us and building us up to be the person he intends for us to be. Me and this “soul mate” of mine never had the opportunity to be together. After months of struggles and multiple conversations, we both decided that it was best for us to remain as friends. He was not emotionally stable or able to commit to anything at that moment nor was I ready to dive straight into a long distance relationship (he was soon to depart for post-graduate studies in another country).

I made myself promise that I will have to get over this ideal perfect guy for me and move on to the next person in my life. And after dating and seeing a few other guys, I realized I will never be able to get over this man. He will always occupy a spot in my heart, my mind, my life, and always be there no matter what stage I am in life. I’ve discovered that this “soul mate” of mine is never going to be out of my life, and I will never be able to get over him. I just have to be able to live with the fact and accept the reality of us not being together.