A letter to myself

As a child, I remembered watching TV shows and wondering if every “true love” relationship has to involve the main character having a broken heart, crying for days, and then find a new person to be with. If the whole world were to have that happen, then wouldn’t that involve a lot of tears and emotional distress? A few years after that, I encountered my first “crush”. A boy in the same class as me that – at the time – I felt like should be my boyfriend. At age 7, who knew what true love was? To be honest, I guess I randomly choose someone when my friend asked me because it seemed like it was the “cool” thing to do.

In grade six was when I experienced my first, real crush. At the time, I felt like I had legitimate feelings for the boy. He was going to be my husband, we would have two kids together, a pet dog, and live in a small house that looked much like the one Snow White and her seven dwarfs lived in. How naive was I? Of course, it didn’t work out and I eventually moved onto high school and had my first real boyfriend. Someone whom – although we ended on not-so-good terms – should really say thank you to. He taught me that loving someone means you have to put up with their strengths, weaknesses as well as everything else in between. He showed me that when you love someone, there can be no envy, no hatred, and you must have full complete trust in the other person. He made me appreciate sacrificing my time and efforts for someone else’s gain, and not my own. He really brought so much joy into my life. After this relationship ended, I had written a letter to myself.

This letter told the then sad me that it was okay to cry. Tears and emotions meant that I cared. The physical pain I would feel in my heart meant my feelings for him were real. Re-reading that letter allowed me to realize how much I’ve grown and matured since then. It’s now that I appreciate every relationship I’ve had, as each relationship has allowed me to grow and mature just a little more.

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