A few days ago I made a decision to stop holding onto someone that I have been romantically involved with for the past three years. Although I know that I cannot just simply “forget” them, I have been actively changing my habits to transition him into the category of just “a friend”. Along with this process, I began to see other people. I went on dates. Met various types of people. But the part I struggle with most is at the end of the day, i would still compare them to him.
I’ve heard advice from friends that mainly categorize into two main points:
1. Be completely over him before you start anything new
2. Use someone else to replace them in your heart
While I sort of agree with both of these, I feel like your last love will always remain in your heart until a new person replaces that said spot. And even after that, they may still occupy a tiny spot. As much as I know how jealous I will be if my future boyfriend tells me that he still thinks of his ex sometimes, I know that without past relationships, we cannot grow to become who we are today. And for that I am thankful for the exes. I learned that you have to be ready to accept something new if you are to move on. One cannot cast the shadow of an ex onto a new interest and expect for them to have the same traits (good or bad). So let us put aside prejudice and enjoy life’s opportunities to move on.