I, too, can feel weak

I’d like to think I’m a pretty positive and optimistic person. Life is going to go on whether or not you’re happy or sad, so why live it upset if you have a choice? That motto has always been engraved into my brain since I was a child. My mom would always tell me no matter what life throws at me, if I smile then things will be a lot better. Deaths, tragedies, as well as other negative and upsetting things will definitely happen in life, but if you face it with a smile, it will get infinitely better. I have to thank my mom for hammering that into my brain and never letting me forget that life is full of challenges.

I guess that’s also the reason why when my friends are upset or discouraged they would come to me and rant. Maybe they know that at the end of our long discussion on how their life sucks at the moment, they’ll always be slapped in the face with one of my encouraging and optimistic lines. One of my best friends recently told me that I’m one of the strongest, bravest souls he knows. Whether I like it or not, he looks to me for strength.

As strong as it seems like I am in front of other people, sometimes I feel weak, too. I hold on until I cannot any longer and allow myself to break down, in silence, solitude. No body knows that I, too, need someone to lean on.  Instead of always having to depend on myself, I want to find someone whom I can depend on as well. God is always there, I know, but there’s always something missing, or someone I always pray to Him about. I pray that He will send me this person I am destined to be with. Watching every single one of my friends pair off with their respective significant others makes my heart wrench. They’ve all found someone to share their life with, their happiness, sadness, excitement, good, and bad. They’ve found someone they can depend on no matter what happens.

The people who act the strongest and most independent are the ones who need somebody the most, but they’ll never show it.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s