Different, but the same

It was awkward – at least for the first three minutes of silence – but I liked it. You finally spoke up and asked if we wanted to talk about ‘us’. I honestly did not know what you would be speaking about next and I held my breath as I questioned what it was about us that you wanted to discuss.

We’re both so different, growing up in different backgrounds, personalities, interests, careers, as well as social circles. You pointed out that we couldn’t be any more opposite. But you like me. You told me you like me and would like to continue what we have now to get to know me better. You wanted to make your intentions clear so there wasn’t any guessing. You were such a dork – a cute dork, though. And I couldn’t help but to laugh at your adorable-ness and totally ruin the moment we shared. Of course I told you I reciprocated your feelings and appreciated that you were so straight forward with me. I hated guessing and you took the possibility of that away from happening.

For the next few days I couldn’t help but to think; I thought a lot about how different we are. You are right, we are completely different. You are four years older than me, not a big difference, but enough to be in a different stage in life. I am an engineer whereas you’re an accountant. I’m an extroverted introvert that feeds off of the energy of others in conversations while you’re a semi-shy introvert that likes spending time alone to recharge. My friends are from all different social circles such as church, high school, university, work and sports and yours were mainly from university and work – most accountants as well. I am Christian, you are not.

With your work schedule picking up pace, I learned to be patient and take things slow to match you. (Patience is still something I need to work on.) You were different compared to my previous relationships and for the first time I felt like we can be real, something strong, and something that could last for a long time.

It was a few days ago when we had discussed about our upbringing and adolescence. I had told you the struggles I’ve had growing up and the constant pressure of needing to provide for my family were hard for me. I don’t tell many people this as only my closest friends know. I don’t know what made me allow myself to tell you because most people wouldn’t understand – couldn’t understand.

But you did.

You told me you had the same pressures growing up and that is why you work so hard. Not only because you truly enjoy your work, but because you have the motivation to provide for your parents; you had to take care of them. That is when I realized that we were so different, yet the same and the fact that we were attracted to one another was not because “opposites attract”. But because we were the same kind of people. We both work hard for someone else, to provide for someone else, to care for someone else.

That is also the moment when I realized something is changing inside of me, something scary that I had not expected:

I am falling for you.


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