I thought I saw you

It’s been a month since we declared our strictly friendship relationship. I was doing well with forgetting the short, but amazing, time we had together. Never once had any man make me feel the way that you did; it was also the first time that we both had to let go because of external reasons and not because one fell out of love with the other.

The other day I was walking along a busy street in the busiest part of the city and I thought I saw you. My natural reaction was to turn the other way and run. But realistically, I was already late for my event and needed to seriously make some progress on walking in the cold semi-winter weather. Somehow, I let myself look towards your direction again, to try to confirm it really was you.

My heart raced, just like the day you told me you fell for me. The cautious glance in your direction again allowed me to confirm that it wasn’t you, it couldn’t possibly be you. I was unsure, but my heart felt excitement, relief, sadness, then confusion all within 1 split second.

Why? Is it because I can’t believe we aren’t romantically involved any more?  Was it because I couldn’t comprehend the situation? Or that I  couldn’t understand how God would allow me to let you go?

Or is it simply because I’m thinking of you, and I miss you.

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