My parents gave up everything they had to immigrate to Canada. A place where they thought would allow my sister and I to flourish in ways we couldn’t in Hong Kong. They left a comfortable, stable city life and travelled to a unfamiliar place. They had to cope with new jobs, new environment, and new friends. All because they thought we were worth it.
With the abundance of opportunities nowadays, our generation has never learned to fight for what we want any more; we never had to struggle for the things we want. My theory for the reason as to why so many couples divorce after marriage in the recent years is not because we don’t want to fight but we can’t fight because we don’t know how.
Society has groomed us to have this “ultimate positive” outlook on ourselves. I agree, being confident, building self-esteem and being positive definitely allows us to live a much more happier and fuller life. But too many times have I encountered people that take this energy and push it to the next level; one level too high. People begin to view themselves much worthier than anybody else when, in fact, we are all the same.
We face an obstacle in life, a problem with our significant other, an argument with a colleague, and we think: I’m worth so much more than this, I don’t deserve to suffer through this. And we throw away a relationship. We’ve never been put in a situation where we were forced to work through our problems or forced to struggle and suffer to get what we want.
But our parents did.
So many of my friends’ parents got married within months, weeks or even days of meeting each other, because that was the culture at the time. Once they signed the marriage papers and the honeymoon period was over, they would discover certain traits that would irk each other. But because “divorce” was such a foreign and frowned upon concept back then, they were forced to work together and to compromise. And because of this, they learned the meaning of perseverance and what the real meaning of “fighting for the ones you love”.
Struggling, suffering, compromising, persevering and working together. It’s quite unfortunate but these phrases are the phrases that have become foreign to our much too privileged generation.