During one of our random self-worth talks, I asked you if we can always be friends no matter where we venture to in the future. You replied: “Do you think I’ll let this friendship go so easily? If God had it meant for us, then we’ll always be friends.”
It has almost been four years since we met, and almost as long since I’ve fallen for you. During these years, we both grew up a lot. The two of us who met through a friend in one of Hong Kong’s hottest pubs slowly matured into two individuals stepping into the workforce.
I walked with you through these past years and I will continue to walk with you through this journey. I will watch you stumble, fall, and stand back up to grow taller. I will be there holding your hand when grief strikes, and will be there handing you a glass of champagne for celebratory events. I will always support you like you need me to, like you’ve always told me how you looked to me for encouragement.
“Do you think I’ll let this friendship go so easily? If God had it meant for us, then we’ll always be friends, we’ll always be what we are.”
And that is exactly what I’m afraid of. I’m afraid God won’t let us be what we are for the rest of our lives.
Because I know what we have right now can’t remain as is.
Some day, someone is going to replace me. She will watch when you stumble and help you stand back up to grow taller. She will be there holding your hand when grief strikes, and will be there to hand you a glass of champagne for celebratory events. She will be the one who supports you because you’ll need her to and you will look to her for encouragement.
She will take my place and make you happier than I ever could.
And I don’t think I can cope with that.