At this moment, I really don’t care.
I couldn’t care less that you’re returning home to Taiwan. I don’t care that you passed your courses and is awaiting graduation. I don’t give a rat’s ass that you’re being in your ‘antisocial’ state and not want to talk to anyone, including me.
All these years of me enduring your various mood swings and antisocial antics have built this wall around my emotions. I don’t allow myself to drink alcohol, afraid the liquid will show my true feelings. I don’t allow myself to cry because I know when I do, it won’t stop. I don’t allow myself to fall in love with any other man because of what you’ve done to me.
I’m in love with a man who disappears into his own world when something bothers him. I’m in love with a man who doesn’t allow me to fully heal my wounds. I’m in love with a man that doesn’t know how much I suffer every day just thinking about what we used to have. I’m in love with a man who just simply does not care about me any more.
I want to lie to myself over and over again, and think that he really does care. But if he cared as much as I cared for him, he would know how much it hurts to see him the way he is.
At this moment, I am done.
I don’t want to love you anymore.