The introverted part of me was screaming for attention. I wanted time alone to self-reflect and ensure the decisions I made were of my own. But simultaneously, I wished for someone to comfort me and tell me everything was going to be okay. Someone to reassure me that one day the tears will stop flowing. Someone to tell me that soon enough, the sun will start shining its rays into the windows of my life again.
I needed to become friends with loneliness. I needed to be comfortable being by myself and had to start relying completely on myself again. I had to become independent all over again.
I did all that. I was able to stand up on my own again. When I made choices on my career, I didn’t have to discuss it with anyone. When I decided to colour my hair and cut off 4 inches, I didn’t have to consult with any body either. I returned back to my pre-relationship self where all I had to rely on was myself.
Then I met him. Things hit off well. I enjoy his company and his humor. His personality is charming and down-to-earth. And I found myself opening up myself merely weeks after meeting him. I had just begun to learn to lean on my own again. Am I really ready to start falling again?